by the way i’m the reason why they send weathermen into hurricanes and shit. “it’s needless and dangerous!!!!!” i don’t care. every day i call into CNN and demand they send their most pathetic newscaster into a storm to watch them be knocked down by wave and wind and they sigh and say yes ma'am. and i do this all for nasty, sexual purposes, if you were wondering.
my favorite part of this post is people started tagging it with names of characters i’ve never heard of so i got curious and googled them and like a third are just tagging it as their local weatherman. very funny.
One of my favorite things about Pride and Prejudice is the Bennet family’s complete cluelessness about Darcy and Elizabeth. Like, if this were a tv show about the Bennets, Darcy and Elizabeth are like, the D storyline. The whole family is trying to get Jane and Bingley together, the regiment is stationed in Meryton, Mr. Collins is taking the house, Lydia and Wickham are obviously the climax, these people have a lot going on. And then, once the regiment has left and Jane and Lydia and Mr. Collins are married and everything seems resolved: plot twist! They’ve got random nobility at the door in the middle of the night telling the know-it-all sister who has been home on and off through the year not to marry the rando rich guy they all hate simply because they’re family and loyal to each other damnit and he called the know-it-all sister ugly once.
And then, of course, they all find out Lizzy and Darcy are actually very in love and literally all of the good things that have happened to them this year are a direct consequence of Darcy loving Lizzy lolol.
When I was young, I believed ponies grew up to be horses. Years later, one of the times I died, I only asked, ‘Why me?’ And God told me I had been almost right about the ponies, just looking at it backwards. Things, God told me, grow smaller. Horses grow up to be ponies, and ships grow up to be boats, and lions grow up to be housecats, and cities grow up to be suburbs, and billboards grow up to be bumper stickers, and armies grow up to be police, and sodomy trials grow up to be quiet and private little suicides, and every genocide grows up to be statistics.”
